Little Girl Self Dreamin Up Her Big Girl Self Wedding

my wedding :)
Yes, I realize I am classified a bit silly for making a blog post consisting of my wishful thinking & joyous hopes for my wedding, which is not for who-knows-how-long.
Well, silly, I will be..

I love the beauty that is found in simplicity & that can be done everywhere. I think my wedding will have simply beautiful nature along with some crazy things. Weird, eh? Well, that's me.
I am all about expressing me in what I do. {and in this case, my future husband as well, but I am not worrying about what he wants exactly, cause well I am not sure if I know him or nott. Don't worry, it is my utmost wish for him and I to both have a say. Duh.}
Anyhow, Texas, for sure. Texas is just amazing to me. It's my home place, my memory state, and getting married here would be just perfect.
In an open field, where you can look so far to see nothing, but more field. Green grass.
I'll be holding an array of sunflowers.
September or October. just at sunset.
The wind will be blowing slightly and the sky will be blue as ever, splattered with a few white clouds.
My dress will not be heavy and sparkly but it will be flowing and perfectly me. My hair will be partially up, partially down, partially curly and partially straight. I dont know how yet. :) haha
This sounds a bit country, right? Okay, now imagine all the bridal party wearing different color converse and dress than everyone else. All the bridesmaids will have a different kind of flower! They can pick, I dont really care!
Music wise, after the marriage was OFFICIAL, we would walk..run back down the isle to my favorite song just cause of its happiness...Smile by Uncle Kracker
Then by reception it would be dark(ish), and there would be a lot of colored Chinese lanterns. The other lights would be the moon and the stars. :)
To sit, there would be tables and chairs everywhere, but also colorful couches...or beanbags!
There would be big stereos for some amazing music. and a wooden dance floor.
After the reception, we would ride off in a truck, a jeep wrangler or a four wheeler.
I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT RESTROOMS...HAHA....UMM......... i dont know..OH. port-a-potties all the way..hahaha

That's all for noww.

-Ashtyn Carrigann (:


{PS I am aware that ALL of these ideas are subject to change, but I am also aware that I am very intent on keeping childhood dreams in my mind...heart, so that I might fulfill them.}

oh man, this is my life.

hi there. it has been a crazy amount of time since i have posted.
and....
oh man, this is my life.
I can't express how blessed and in love with life I am.

When it comes to family, I am interpreting slowly, but surely and excitedly what God has for these moments and situations that we come across together.
When it comes to friends, I truly am overwhelmed with every single one of them. I have this incredible relationship with so many of them that I wouldn't trade for anything.
When it comes to bad, I am fighting against it and in pursuit of making it absolutely terrified of me.
When it comes to good, it comes to everything Jesus.
When it comes to love, well, i am enchanted. and i cant smile without it.
When it comes to hate, well, hate got nothin on love, so i'm not scared of it.
When it comes to happiness, that's just one of the definitions of me.
When it comes to me, well, I am still figuring that one out. But I am just incredibly in awe of every terrible and amazing moment that life brings. I still think everything is beautiful, maybe not immediately, but i just gotta trust and try to love life when I dont want to. I have come to a conclusion that so much in life is so simple, yet it is not easy at all. And thank goodness! How would life be if everything was simple and easy. this is life...the hard journey that we choose to pursue no matter the circumstances that evil tries to kill us with. Satan is always trying to crush me in whatever way he can; this is why I am reaching for the point of such faith that the devil has no assets to me. Smile is still, my motto. I love being a friend and boy, do I love having them.
When it comes to dreaming, I still do immensely. I dream, yet still, with no limitations. but..
When it comes to achieving, that's what I aim for more so then "super cool" dreams. Well, I dream, with every intention of fulfilling that dream.
I am in love with love, whether it's Jesus love, unfailing family love, completely reliable friend love..or the wonderment of someone I could love and that same person loving me. I trust trust trust trust Jesus for it. Like I said earlier...its simple...but most definitely not easy. Hopefully this is redundant...but, I truly believe this life is good. :)

oh man, this is my life.

-ashtynn

on my heart (:

Why do we let go of the One who never lets go of us?
Hebrews 13:5 "He will never leave us or forsake us."
2 Timothy 2:13 "If we are faithless, He remains faithful!" Our God is so good!! :)
Why, when He promises, do we turn to the world for comfort?
"He comforts us" Isaiah 51:12
We can't turn to the world when we want to change the world!
1 Peter 2:9 "but you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." That is SO happy.
In the song, "Hosanna," these lyrics are sung: I see a generation rising up to take their place with selfless faith.
At camp, the very first time we sung that part of the song, my friend Portia and I turned to each other and said, "That's us!," with a big smile on our face. I dont know about you, but I want to be the chosen generation. I'm going to walk the walk.

This is just some Jesus stuff. I really really like Jesus.
Have a beautiful day! Go look at the clouds! Find shapes and what not in them:)

-ashtyn(:

Love

I am blessed beyond words with love. My family gives love over and over again. So much mercy. I mess up, they forgive. I am lost, they help me find myself. All because they love me. My friends, wow. They're there for me...always. Well, my close friends. I have some friends that are just so real. so. real. Jesus LOVES me. how cool is that? He gave me a beautiful life. Wonderful, merciful family....perfect friends...and for some crazy reason I am very optimistic! :) Everything is beautiful to me. Sunshine, clouds, roads, life can't seem to get better. Walking through life, head held high. Day at a time, I'm confused, lost, wandering and Jesus finds me. He takes me in and leads me. Day at a time, I'm happy, joyful, loved. Life is fast. That's why I...everyone has to take in life every moment at a time. The hugs, the laughs, the "i love you's", the troubles, the hurts, the "its okays", the friendships, the bumpy road and fun adventure with a beautiful destination...Heaven. Let's make this trip worthwhile. Everything in my life that is beautiful and perfect is from amazing Jesus. Because He loves me.

lovelovelovelovelove (:

an arising generation:)

Camp has come and gone, but man has it affected me for good. Ever since i left, i have a bubbling passion inside of me that is so ready to leap, soar and achieve, dream, succeed, begin, change whatever God wants. it's not a repetitive, broken record feeling or saying that is "woo hoo life changing," but seriously i have healthy anxiety for the normality chains to slowly break down into a radical, shaken, beautiful lifestyle with Jesus living seriously through me. I am pumped, no doubt. Words aren't just being spoken or typed, but every view, word, song, scripture, you name it has a crazy deeper meaning to me than ever. With this, I live now looking at the big picture eagerly, curiously, and yet contently. Life, we all know has its down falls, but when I get a fire ignited for Jesus within ME; what a glorious picture: a chain reaction of a person who Jesus seriously gets to, unconsciously shining the light to and on others. now is the time that yes, we can. Obama congratulations, i used your three words. :P but no joke. whatever stirs and burns inside of us, let's DO IT. i sense a sttrrronggg calling on this generation. and oh am i EXHILARATED to see it unfold visibly to the world, cause yes, He is working in the midst of us children. right. now. just sayin, you can be apart. Let His calling flood into you like an impatient, roaring sea crashing a sail boat. That's how obvious it is to me that He has some pretty powerful prayers, formulas, words, actions...planted in us that He is yet having us discover.
we're an arising generation. we're unique. let's live this life for our calling. it affects all of our eternity. ARISE!

a song for the eagle :)

I heard there was a doctor report but since when did that mean nothing could change with a little bit of faith?
Cause my God is no God of death, but my God is a God of life.

And He got, got, got, got, got your back and you gotta trust trust trust trust trust in that. :)

It's not gonna be okay. It's not gonna be alright. It's gonna be the way it was meant to be. Destiny. More than okay. More than alright.When doubt comes to haunt us, remember what He bought us. A priceless payment for you and I, we deserved nothing but He died. When faith seems so far away, remember that special day. He died for our sickness. He died for our diseases.


I heard there was a doctor report. They wanted to know how the Eagle soared cause they couldnt find anything wrong anymore...

Cause He got, got, got, got, got your back and you gotta trust trust trust trust trust in that.


-ashtyn :)

scattered....satisfied...sustained...surreal.... *summer* :) :)

consistency is coming around the corners of day by day summer living. i've been lazy. i dont like being lazy. but happy, nevertheless. my life is changing immensely, and this commencement of summer is exciting!
this summer holds crazy different circumstances, choices, and adventures that I have not yet even touched a doorknob to the door of what lies beyond. aroused by excited feelings, leaping hopes, new loves, and enduring laughter, second by second this summer gets better. looking around, i could see or feel two things. boredum, wanting more. happiness, taking in the every little gracious, beautiful thing.
summer, i love you.
opened. to the newness that is yet to be expounded.

All my love,
Ash Grace

a season in life...

every step, every journey, every beautiful hardship i go through i look back on it as a season of life.
"it was a season of life," i say.
during seasons, what happens?
things, people, interests, dreams, myself, and life are like seasons, and like these things, seasons... fall, change colors, blossom, rain, leave residue, glisten, grow...
a season in life is just like a season...in life.
i think that's just cool.

signin out,
ash

inspired.

Who says you cant be inspirational? Who says you cant be who you really aspire to be? Well, there may be people, but it might be yourself.
You're not great enough. You could never do that. That is way beyond your strength or perseverance.
Um, no. lies.
By the way...GO for your dreams. Dreams, desires...loves, aren't placed into your life so you will just blow them off. Pursue them. Cherish them. There is a reason for all of them. God has a plan. More so, a painting He has finished, colorful and brilliant; but He is just gradually making it visible to you. This is a journey you have to fulfill. Fulfill the painting. Fulfill this beautiful one and only life.
Love people. Love yourself. Love your talents. Vainness, not intended. Just be you. Dont let anyone influence you to not be the person you were born to be. Dont second guess yourself. Listen to the Lord. You can do anything you set your heart out to do.
Dream, big, huge dreams. It is so worth it. Have faith.
You are inspirational. To one heart, perhaps? Jesus doesn't compare.
Again I say, you are inspirational. You are you.
i am inspired.


***inspired by a friend who said he wasn't an inspirational person***
-ash grace

Jeremiah 29:11

Jeremiah 29:11 My life verse: For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. plans to prosper you, plans to not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. :)
Good stuff, right there.

-ac-

a beautiful guess. {unfinished lyrics.}

the silence you leave is a silent calling of the prestige within you and me...
the audacity you had, to stand up and leave me there. all alone. the capacity of life in me is draining slowly.
you had melancholy uncertainty though, i saw it in your eyes. but through the countless goodbyes you've said, im ready for the final number. our song is over. moving on. we will be fortified. we will be fortified.
the dry love we put above true love is coming out and im tired of the desires of my heart being surrounded by calamities. dramatic it may seem. but goodbye and God bless. my life is now a beautiful guess.
i set a new path to walk onto roads unseen. gonna find what i have missed between the lines i have made.
....slowly they will fade. and life will be lived according to no one, but dreams and goals and living and loving...

{unfinished lyrics}

til i type again,
ash

starving?

I was talking to Jesus yesterday and He told me, "y'all are starving."

I asked Him, "starving for what?...."

He said that we were starving for Him, starving for more and more of Him, yet not taking the food He has placed before us. He has given us so much. It's like a meal with several courses. A couple of them might not be the best. A vegetable you dislike or a weird, fancy food...then comes the juicy meat or the delectable dessert. He puts situations in our life so we will accept them and learn through them. If you eat a certain food for long enough you most likely will grow accustomed to it and perhaps, love it..

With Jesus though, it is also a faith thing; believing that through the confusing, hard circumstances that come, He is there and He will pull us through. The gifts and love and grace and mercy He has for us are unfathomable, but He wants to see our thankfulness, our faith to and in Him so He can show us much more of His unfailing kingdom.

Take the step of faith. Taste what He has served to us. A King. Serving. That's our God.

Be thankful.

Have a blessed day.

With love,

Ashtyn Carrigan

just here.

i am the sun shining in the sky.

so simple to everyone, they pass me by.

complaining sometimes, blaming alot.

a beautiful day, and yes it's hot.

i give them light on a gloomy day.

just at least, so they can see their way.

i make it clear. so they dont have to fear.

but fear, they do.

the beauty of pain.

the beauty of sacrifice.

the beauty of giving.

i try to give you what you ask.

but faith it takes. to accomplish a task.

preaching is so unawakening, to those who dont want light.

so humility is the key to helping them fight.

so they can fight their battle. win their battle.

love their battle.

live their battle.

live their life.

hello blogging world.

hey there. i have a blog. :)

i love to write. always have. i always write in my journal, but i suppose i can share some of my poetry, songs,

life and such with you.

well, it is almost late, but i just wanted to let you know i am blogging! haha. well goodnight world. :)