2012 & all the delight it carries

I haven't yet posted in this delightful year.

Whether I know what I am going to write in a post or not, in this case I don't, it always turns out to mean something to me later. That's what I want.

2012.
As some of my peers know, I pray for a word or two for that year. Looking back I always see how much I needed and used that word.
For example, last year's were peace and wonder.
In the beginning of the year, the most appalling judgmental hardship that felt like a million to one defeat occurred in my life. The emotions I felt at the beginning of that year lingered even to this very moment, but it is much different now. I am not bitter, or frustrated, or even sad. I am simply thoughtful. Hard times that relate to friendships ending or pausing showed me how much I need to love these moments. I needed a lot of peace so I wasn't in a state of tears or sadness. Jesus truly showered peace over me making the bumpy bumpy road much more tolerable and enjoyable. All of this peace was linked with wonder. Wondering what was going to happen with this friendship and relationship? What is going to happen next? How is that going to be mended? Is this possible? Wonder wonder wonder.
A peaceful wonder is the most beautiful kind of wonder.
I experienced this in 2011.

2012's words on the other hand, are Love & Everlasting. The words by themselves and together mean something for this year. I believe there are many many opportunities to come this year to love. Simply respond in a better way. To go the extra mile. To pick up that piece of trash. Big things. Little things. In secret and in light. Everlasting is for the relationships with people, the actions I do, big and little, and future happenings. There are things that are happening this year that will be everlasting. Overall, it will be a big beautifulness of everlasting love.

This year has already shown such things, but has so much more in store.
We are going to Africa in August as a family. I have always wanted to go on missions around the world. This is a first of a lifelong journey. I love firsts. Firsts are such a lovely mandatory part of life. They will happen. This August is going to be SO delightful. I can feel the delight in me for it already.

To my life here and now, there is a simple first occurring. That is, I am stage managing for the first time for a CAIA play. It is already quite exciting. Today was the first rehearsal. I of course will always be more involved in the on stage process, but I think that this is a simple transition into the newness that will quickly come in August.
Hunter's moving to Louisiana soon enough...within the next month, two, three...We'll see...but still soon, I am NOT rushing him. He is moving for acting purposes, ah! Hannah of course will be a freshman in college this fall. Arkansas OBU.
I will be the oldest and it will be a 4 people family home. With Hannah and hopefully Hunter coming home oh so often, it won't be bad, but it still is a fact.
Our family will be less than said average family. THAT'S WEIRD PEOPLE. I will have my license by the time Hannah is gone, thank God. Praying in the funds for a car too :) {I ain't improvising my all time dream car: jeep wrangler} I'll be the one hauling E and I around and again, that. is. just. weird. Ethan and I are the babies. Good thing it is us though, we keep the party going. We don't like the house stagnant and quiet. You can always count on us for loud music, singing and having extra people over. If it was Rachel and Hannah at home last, well then, expect book reading and peace with an occasional musicloudburst and a party. :P This is a semijoking statement; our whole family is a peopleperson anyways. We could be the definition of peoplepeople.

Oh this year is so exciting. New times, fun times. And don't mention this SUMMER. It's gonna be....STELLAR.


lovelovelovelovelovelovelovelove.
so good typing again.

so long for now.
-Ashtyn-


fyi to the world: Smile is STILL my motto. I just currently don't wear it around my neck. You can count on me to always have a smiley face on my hand. When possible I WILL buy a new one, but for now I have to show people my motto in new ways. Totally okay with that.

thoughts and heart

I haven't posted in some time.

Why, life changes. It truly does. God is beautiful beautiful beautiful.
I, for one, do not just happily enjoy change. Because life has been so grand and I have seen wonders, I admit I can be afraid of them leaving me.
Whether good times "leave me", what do I fear? More extravagant time are to come. & are here.

Sometimes I don't love life but I always love being alive.

I have discovered and am discovering that friendships get harder as you get older. I have to try a lot harder than I used to, because of certain circumstances and happenstances of my life. I'm okay with that. It just shows they're important to me. It doesn't mean it is fun or easy, but it definitely develops perseverance all taking part in my character growth.

I am not naturally a patient person but because situations in life have called for patience, I have acquired patience like nothing else. Every day, I have to work hard to not be waiting patiently but living and loving patiently.

I encourage you today..tomorrow..and forever..To never let situations keep you on the ground. God is faithful. He is victor. Love always wins. Whether it's days, minutes, or months of specific or any hardship, keep trying because God has never and will never give up on you.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Let your gifts work. Don't compare yourself.

hope your fall is lovely!

-Ashtyn Carrigan (:

In all attempted secrecy, oddity has developed. There may be a feel of eloquence in these words, but we all have the knowledge of what has occurred. Not in ten thousand years did I see such a time as this, but peace has overwhelmed me from the inside out. Where would be without the perfection of Him? Where! Such quitters are we whom know the hope and love of the One and yet we have given up? No! Stand up; Choose to be who you are. Because you have found Him, you have found yourself. Don't let times change you; you must change times. In the midst of destruction and deprivation, seemingly pretendence seems fitting. Keep on with who you are when the hard times hit and allow faithfulness to be who you are for the time being. Now, don't doubt your own, no matter the lack of faith or hope. Every moment is a fresh and new opportunity to grasp and choose to see the Light that will come. The Light will come.

Surrender

Times come that shake us up, shake us so hard we don't know why this is happening.
The thing is, we must surrender our "right" to understand.
Surrender it all.
I have realized that I hadn't surrendered everything in my life.
Ask yourself if you truly are surrendering everything that needs to be surrendered.
I am at the point of my life in which I have never had to trust this immensely.

We all have situations in our life, whether they're big or small, they're bad. They feel pointless, disappointing and draining. Be of good cheer friends, for my God is bigger than these "bad" situations. Choose to trust so vastly that your hands are in the air and your eyes are on the King.

Surrender leads to trust. Trust leads to hope.

Abby's Ringtone That Someone Heard A lot Today

"Oh lets get rich and buy our parents homes in the south of France
Lets get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance
Lets get rich and build a house on a mountain making everybody look like ants
From way up there, you and I, you and I" -Ingrid Michaelson

What A Skype Conversation Will Do :)